fields - a mix. and a story.

I'm often asked about the inspiration behind this blog and how it got its name - so today, I thought I would tell you the story (or stories) that inspired the name The Flowerchild Dwelling. AND I've provided a soundtrack, because well, that's kind of my thing.

One of my favorite childhood memories has to do with a flower field... my flower field. (The photo above was taken there, as well as my header) I think it's actually a bunch of little memories jumbled into one, it's almost like remembering a dream. Surreal and floaty and sort of in slow motion. One of my friends lived next to the field when we were really little... it was right outside her back door. I remember her mother telling us to be careful, and not to wander too far, as we ran for the sea of mustard flowers. I remember sundresses, my messy hair, the warm sun, a family of rabbits, and a breeze that made it look like the field was dancing. I remember us, sitting on a tiny cleared space of cool dirt - just big enough for two little friends - with the tall yellow flowers all around us, shading us from the sun. As we stuck flowers and weeds in our hair, we told stories about mermaids and animals and how, when we were all grown up, we would build a "giant, magical cabin" - right there, in the middle of the field. I can hear us laughing and the rustling of the flowers as we walked through them. And that's really all. A small memory, but one that I have carried with me throughout my life.

Since then, I have taken countless photos in that field of so many beautiful people. I took walks with friends when we needed to clear our heads. I've seen the raddest sunsets while standing on the bridge up the hill. I watched dear friends fall in love while eating ice cream on the steps overlooking the sea of yellow. I taught kids how to use their first film camera there. I've sat in that field in the summer, when all the flowers dried up and turned golden, with the hot sun on my back. He and I broke each other's hearts on that little old bench. I danced on the dirt path - no music, just our laughter. I've found bits and pieces of who I truly am amongst the flowers and the trees in the distance and the secret pathways. I'm all grown up, but I still feel like that imaginative, fiery little girl who whispered secrets to flowers and wanted to spend her life outside. And really, she's still here. In my heart.

While scouting a location for a project this past April, we decided to stop by the field - I hadn't been there in a while, and being springtime, it would have been in full bloom. As we drove up, though, my heart dropped to the floor. It was gone. I jumped out of the car and walked onto the now dirt field with tears in my eyes. The flowers. The trees. The little bench. The succulents in the hollow tree stumps. Everything was stripped away and cleared out, leaving a giant, dusty, almost bare space, with the occasional construction equipment and a crane where the trees once were. Gone. It was like a piece of my childhood had gone with it. A piece of myself. I don't really know what will come of that place, or what they're planning to build. I can tell you that it broke my heart into a million pieces. A beautiful piece of nature, of creation, gone... just like that. I will miss it so, so much.

I have my memories, though. Of dancing flowers, and laughter, and friends, and stories about magical cabins, and the messy-haired, big-eyed little girl who was fascinated by everything around her. And I have photographs, and this little space, to represent all that it meant to me. And for this sentimental woman, thank goodness for that.

...Now it's your turn to tell me a story.

Tracklist:
Fields - Library Tapes
Promise - Ben Howard
17 Hours - Emma Louise
The Kindness In Letting Go - Rameses III
22 - Night Beds
Swelling - Sarah Jaffe
The Ballad of Keenan Milton - Devendra Banhart
B.B. Chevelle - Isbells
Hear the Noise That Moves So Soft and Low - James Vincent McMorrow
The Lament of Eustace Scrubb - The Oh Hello's

Listen: 8tracks | Spotify | Rdio

you - a mix.

Hey you. You make life wonderful. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're a rad and brave and beautiful soul, and that's the truth. I dig you and all that you are. So this? This one's for you. With love.

Tracklist:
Nothin' On You Kid - Bootstraps
Brave Ruth - Before the Brave
Mountains - Kris Orlowski & Andrew Joslyn
Pidgin - Great Wilderness
In The Wind - Lord Huron
Barnacles - Cathedral Pearls
Before You Go - Ok Sweetheart
You - Nils Frahm

Listen: 8tracks | Spotify

You're terrific as far as I'm concerned. - E.B. White

to women.

I received a question recently from a young reader, Katy, and it brought me to tears. After coming across some super snarky, mean-spirited articles the last couple of days, BY female writers about women and gender roles that made me want to throw my computer out the window, I thought it was especially appropriate to post my answer today. (Question shared with permission) These are my thoughts... they might not align with yours, just hear me out.

"What does feminism look like to you? (Can you be a woman of faith and a feminist?) Sometimes I feel like feminists exclude certain types of women and certain roles, and that's confusing to me. I want to go to college and possibly pursue journalism, but I also want to be a stay-at-home mom someday. My friends - who call themselves feminists - make fun of me when I bring it up, and it's hurtful. I feel like I can't be my true self around them and share my dreams. I thought feminism fought for the freedom of all girls and women to achieve anything and be anyone, without prejudice or bullying each other? What would you say to women who feel shunned and ridiculed because of the life they want or have already chosen?"

I believe women have always been meant for great things. We are not the same as men, but that does not make us less than. We do not stand behind them, but next to them. Both men and women bring different, but equally valuable, things to the table. I believe women, of all walks of life and cultures and religions, have accomplished incredible things throughout history and have been amazing examples of leadership and how to handle great responsibility. While there are some people of faith (or political affiliation) who think women are only meant for certain jobs or roles in life - the God I personally believe in has a different message. He used women throughout Biblical history in mighty, mighty ways. In ways that were just as important as the ways He used men. (I think Sarah Bessey always writes beautifully about this very subject - here's a taste of what she has to say about women and faith/leadership, she's even writing a book about it)

Throughout time, women have changed the course of history. They've changed events, they've changed people, they've changed hearts and ideas and opinions. They have raised families... sometimes alone. They have lead armies. They have taught the masses. They have fought for the poor. For the rights and freedoms of others. For their children. They have lead countries, governments, and movements. They have discovered solutions, answers, and cures. They have been role models and activists. Wives and mothers. Young and old. They have healed, protected, fought, died, rallied, nurtured, encouraged, sacrificed, saved, created, inspired, and loved. Their voices and their strength have carried families, towns, cities, tribes, churches, and nations. Their stories have paved the way for women like me, to live the life I want and to be able to make choices that are right for me and my future.

This. All of this. This is what feminism looks like, to me. Women helping the world. Women helping other women, encouraging and lifting them up to be all that they want to be. No limits. No prejudice.

Here's what I would say to women. To you.
You are enough. You will always be enough. You have all the strength and courage inside you to live the life you imagine... whatever that looks like. You can be an artist, a doctor, an entrepreneur, a preacher, an ambassador, an activist, a working mother, a stay-at-home mom, or the leader of a country. All of those jobs, all of those roles, are valuable. They all require bravery, determination, and compassion... qualities that lie in you.

Don't let anyone tell you that the life you've chosen isn't enough. That your role in life isn't important. That your life has to be a certain way to have meaning or spark change or leave a mark on the world and future generations. That is not feminism. Whether you are meant to be a mother or not. Whether you are meant to be married or not. You are not less of a human either way. You are not less of a woman. You are complete, regardless of what your family or life look like. Whether you are a business owner, a journalist, a teacher, a wife, a music maker, or a stay-at-home mom... you are so very important. You are whole. Women before us have fought and cried and spoken out and rallied so that we can have those choices. So that we can create a life that brings us joy, no matter how "conventional" or "unconventional" it may look to the world, it is our choice. It is our truth. And it is our job to continue speaking out. It is our job to continue paving the way for the next generation of women. It is our job to continue encouraging each other. Reaching across town lines and borders. Taking each other by the hand and saying, "You are enough. Keep going."

So know this... you are special in ways you don't even know. You are a light that shines bright. You make a difference even when you can't see it. Be the person you are meant to be. Listen to that still, small voice in your heart that says, "This... this is who I want to be" and go for it. Baby steps. You can do it. I know you can. And if anyone tells you that the life you've made for yourself isn't good enough, if they bully you to be and act and look and live a certain way - all under the name of "feminism" - you stand up and say no. Because that is not truth. They are contributing to chauvinism and misogyny, not feminism. And that is heart breaking. I wish those women, who shame other women, would realize that they don't have to be miserable. They don't have to hurt others to make themselves feel better or superior. They can have joy, peace, and love. They deserve it, just like you do. Just like I do.

You be you. And I'll be me. Let's encourage each other to be our best selves, to continue being the women we want to be. And to lift each other up, and make each other laugh, and love one another.

You are important, and I'm proud of you.

come celebrate.

I got the opportunity to interview kindlewood for the new issue of Off Switch Magazine and it's out today! I am so stoked, you guys. You can read the issue here, and paper copies will be available soon. (I also contributed some tunes to the issue as well) Big thanks and lots of love to Katie for letting me be part of Off Switch again, and of course to kindlewood for being fantastic people, as always. It's so fun to promote artists I truly love, and seeing my name on a list of incredible contributors? Talk about humbling. So, so cool.

Enjoy the issue. Maybe share with a friend or two. And let us know what you think! xo.

(photo by Jennifer Lyman)